I am skeptical about my success in mentoring over the last six years. Those who have really benefitted will be around ten percent. For example, let's take my last five blogs on mentoring. In the present group of 31 mentees, only six have responded. Their responses too have been partial with no cross-engagement of each other's views.

What is the reason?

I attribute this to the absence of being able to invest quality time and resources on the self and in community. There is always talk about work-family balance but never about work and life balance. There is more to life than work and home. Life goes beyond, and encompasses the self, the community and even nature.

Our hierarchical cultural structure has prevented this from happening. Investment in these two areas, however, comes with a price tag - it invariably creates turbulence in one's relationships. Everyone is encroaching on the other's space in the family. And mentoring is about transforming oneself. Transformation cannot happen by sitting at home and in the office.

I want you to understand one grim reality: unless you transform yourself, you are not empowered.

When asked the question "Why do you want to lead?"the overwhelming answers I receive are, "I-oriented," for example:

Self-expression

Know myself better

Exercise knowledge

Be happy

Manage myself better

Live rightly

Face challenge

My question is: do you not think that we have responsibility to a greater world? Are we existing only for ourselves? To be able to lead oneself is to equip oneself to lead others and make a difference.

The word 'self' appeared for the first time in the Oxford Dictionary in 1573. In the field of psychology it was first used in 1870 in the Harvard University Press. With few exceptions, self in a Western sense derives its meaning from Descartes, "I think, therefore, I am." Self in Western philosophy is about the mind, about reason - "I am my brain."

In sharp contrast, the concept of self in India has existed for 4000 years. It lies at the core of Indian spirituality, and is one of the routes to human salvation and self-realization. I believe it is also a fundamental principle of leadership, about leading one self first, then others.

The Indian middleclass is a product of the Western education system, and it is, therefore, not surprising that in our daily lives we spend little or no time even thinking about the self. Very, very few individuals devote quality time on a regular basis for their emotional and spiritual growth. They are either unaware, or caught up in the daily grind, or are afraid of disturbing relationships. Consequently, we experience a lot of imbalance in our lives. I admit it is extremely difficult to get the balance right, and each person has to find her answers. But it is possible. I will welcome your views.

How do we restore balance in our life? For average people like us, we need to reconnect with Nature and the Community. When you reach out, you reach in; the reverse seldom happens. We have to find time to invest in ourselves. There is no short cut.

In addition, we should consider introducing the theoretical and experiential study of common essentials of all religions. We will then realize that Truth is one, although there are many highways that take us there.

Teachers seldom consider themselves as leaders. If this did happen the education system would have reformed a long time ago.

Most teachers say that while they intellectually subscribe to the idea of whole-education, they  are usually intimidated by the 'system.' Presumably, the system comprises parent expectations, as well as the aspirations of the student, to score high marks in examinations. Even the school managements push hard for results as they believe that this is the hallmark for excellence.

I say, suppose all these impediments vanished this very moment, will you be able to deliver a whole-education curriculum? There is an uneasy silence and hesitation. Most teachers will say, "yes."

I continue. If a teacher has never practised whole-education and lifelong learning, for example, in her personal life, how will she deliver the programme? Most teachers will remain silent.

Therefore, the problem is not the parent, the child or the management; it's you. You are the problem and you are the solution.

While the school can certainly manufacture crucible experiences, the difficult part is post-experience reflection. It is reflection that eventually brings about transformation. There is a need to have well-trained mentors who can facilitate this process.

In my next blog I shall share my thoughts on how the lack of understanding of the concept of 'self' has contributed to gross imbalance in leadership development.

India's metros are the battlegrounds for terrorists.  Terrorist attacks in any metro can cripple economy, force politicians to respond to the demands of terrorists, and provide media publicity. Kill one in a metro and you can scare a million. New York's Mayor Michael Bloomberg, once said:

            "When you catch a terrorist and look at the map in his or her pocket,

            It is always a map of New York; it's not a map of some other place."

I have always been of the view that, civil police is better equipped mentally and culturally to deal with terrorists, and even terrorism, than the military. Regrettably, the idea has taken firm roots in the police minds that, fighting terrorists is well beyond their competency. Many policemen also say it is not their role.

There is a subtle difference between a soldier and a policeman, and we need to take this into serious consideration. For a soldier it is straight forward: it is to kill the enemy. Personally I do not agree with this mission because I feel that killing can never be an objective of any military force. "War-winning" cannot be the aim of war at least in the 21^st century. The higher purpose of the military must be to "prevent wars."

In the context of terrorism especially, the role of the police is to prevent killing, to prevent crime.

To deal effectively with terrorists, the police need the support of the people. That will be forthcoming provided three conditions are met:

• First; the crime rate must be brought under control. Fighting terrorism cannot be at the cost of crime getting out of control. Moreover, effective crime management reinforces the confidence and trust of the citizens in their police force.
• Second; you need adequate manpower. In metros, the ratio must be a minimum of 250 policemen for every 1,00,000 people. Currently, it is 142 and this is grossly inadequate.
• Third; you need leadership. This is a vast area and will require a lot of discussion and understanding.